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Metamorphosis. I never believed the gravity of that word until I had my own process of change. I thought I knew myself. I have been faithful. I was good. I had a plan. But, I was solely focused to  “I“. It was January 27, 2016, when the first day of my metamorphosis began. I attended the GDC ASIA 2016. The message of Dr. Ravi Zacharias and Dr. Samuel Chand had ignited the fire that burned the concept of ‘self‘.  Below was my journey (towards realization)

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AUDIO FILE

I have a confession.

I never had any love relations,

Because I kept love as my possession

And this is the reason

It all started when I met you.

So I’ll start with …

Dear You,

You who has always been with me

Have seen and known the truth in me

Yet I took it for advantage

Thinking that is what you are to me

When I learned to notice you,

I learned to like you, to depend on you.

I had my sleepless nights, thinking about you

And I imagined planning the future with you.

You were faithful and generous.

You were kind and patient.

And when I started to love life because of you

I realized that love equals you

And that you are my life.

 

So now let me greet you with …

Dear Love,

Love, I would like to ask you why.

Why did you break me?

Uprooted me from the garden of love and left nothing with me.

It was a beautiful life. Why end it so abruptly?

I listened to you and then I followed you and then I fell in love.

It was a perfect match. It was what I imagined and prayed intently.

So why end it suddenly?

I was confused then I felt betrayed.

I was a fool that made me furious and I got derailed.

But deep inside I was broken.

You gave me a dream only to tell me it wasn’t mine.

 

But Dear Love,

There is one thing you don’t know about me.

I persevere.

It may take a year.

But from then, on I will not shed a single tear.

So you become my Past.

 

Dear Past,

Stop haunting me.

I’ am through with you.

I’m trying something new;

And he’s someone not like you.

He has promises that become true.

But damn you!

Since he is nothing like you,

I kept coming back to you.

This time I swallowed my pride

And oh! I felt so little by your side.

I thought I’ll be mad

But I just cried and cried and cried.

For that was the truth. You are beyond great.

I made a mistake.

So let’s have another take.

 

We’ll start fresh and I’ll regard you as …

Dear Friend,

I’m sorry.

You have always been by my side

But I was never satisfied.

You showed me what I needed

But I mistook it as pain intended.

You tried to make a humble heart out of me

But I thought you were insulting my capacity.

But I know who you are. I know what you are.

You are the giver of love, creator of past, a friend

But above all, you are The Father, Our Father.

 

Dear Father,

If only I had known,

I would have bowed on my own.

If only I had listened,

I would have been ever present.

If only I had understood

I would have never been a fool.

 

But Dear Father,

I am grateful, for you remained to stay.

That one year, I thought I could stay away,

You kept your distance and continued to whisper on my ear and say,

You belong to Me

That humbled me father,

For you to accept me like nothing matter.

You belong to Me

That reassured me father,

That in the end it will be us together.

You belong to Me

Father, that fulfilled my duty

For me to decrease while You increase.

 

Dear Holy Father,

Please accept my confession

Now, I pray for us to start anew

A life centered only to you

So I could pass on what was given to me

The love out of Your mercy.

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